Oreka Godis

View Original

damned hopeless crush

He looked at me
And
I
Was.
I, existed
In that space between this world and the next
That world where happiness forgets what loneliness remembers
That area where skipped heartbeats float to live, echoing to other lost ones
That place where imaginary butterflies mock the movement of skipped beating hearts
That none physical location where sensations of forehead kisses rest long after the initial
That plot of land inaccessible to the world, even you; except when he looks at you. Me.

I existed
In that rainbow that lead to the happy shine in his eyes
The glimmer in them the truest shade of beauty
His lips teased its way toward his cheeks, tickling and deepening his silent dimple along the way
What awakened, was a smile which sent me to that other plane where day dreamers fly to only at the height of the very best dreams

He’d scarcely spoken than I’d lost what little grasp of the English Language I had. Which was a shame for I know no other language to converse in and so; me now thoroughly enthralled by the beauty of him could do nothing but smile sheepishly. I’m not sure if it was the mischief above his brow or the curious peak to his ear or even playful tone of his eyes that had me, whatever it was, it had me.

It grabbed the little sheepish girl in me and had us running head first through the wind, headed past the living room, towards the newly shed leaves of our county grass, headed for the one place in the world that I thought I could hold him in longer than my next breath.

I ran ahead hoping he would follow. I tugged at his sleeve, hoping to share my daydream with him if only for a moment. He followed or at least I think he did; I felt him move, as we ran towards the children we’d left behind. Palm to palm, we ran, tumbled and fell under the palm tree, cushioned by freshly piled auburn leaves. I looked up to my favourite roof in the world and though tonight it carried less stars and more clouds than usual, it was still spectacular. He was with me.

He crashed next to me and I breathed him in. The familiar smell of him spread out its wings and wrapped around me like a comfort blanket. He laughed
We existed
Or at least I thought we did; together under nature’s roof at a time where all that mattered was that he held me close to his adrenaline induced beating heart. Each thud seemed to accuse me of dragging it from its resting place but I was too filled with an interesting sense of awe and clarity to care.

His phone rang, I woke up from my dream forced back to this moment where he was him, I was me but there was no us. Now in a dreadfully confined room of responsibility and reality, claustrophobic and anxious, I bite my lip hard and try desperately to return to that patch of land where we could roam free and let our inner child be